Funny how a romantic comedy movie can impart useful life lessons.  These three things are the key takeaways from the movie, “The Ugly Truth.”

Nobody dreams of being disliked or being feared. Everyone desires respect, admiration, and love. If you don’t agree, leave. (Just kidding.) If you don’t agree enough, read on.

Never criticize.

At some point in my life, I had to be a critical thinker and a bit of a harsh teacher. If I didn’t detect errors or speech problems quickly enough, I would lose the chance to correct them. Sharpening this skill was crucial to my survival (i.e. keeping my job as a freelance ESL teacher). Only later did I realize how much people around me detested this attitude – perhaps even my students resented it.  Based on the movie, men hate criticisms (which is true for women, too). So it’s smart to hold off any fault-finding statements until they like you enough they can swallow your unsweetened remarks.

Never tell your problems.

This is the main reason I was my father’s favorite (I said ‘was’ because I’m not sure now). I rarely tell him my problems – and when I do, I already have the answers. Of course, we’re all good at hiding our worries, fears, doubts, and sentiments from our parents so that doesn’t require so much willpower.  But when I get closer to someone and develop a sense of trust, I mistakenly begin telling him or her my problems. Yes, big mistake, I know. But it’s also a good test whether someone is willing to be by your side even in the pit of darkness. It’s sort of a gamble, you’ll see.

Be spontaneous.

I love peace and order so much that the opposite appalls me. Chaos isn’t my best friend. I cling to routine. But yeah, I get bored with doing the same thing, too. But boredom with routine isn’t equal to spontaneity. I was guilty of being a control-freak at a few episodes in my life. Oh, if you find me still acting like one, please remind me of this post.

The story ends with a note of hope. You can stay true to yourself and still find love and maybe ‘friendship’. Actually, if it’s real love that you seek, you should not be afraid or hesitate to show the real you. Just saying.