Who Let the Bed Bugs Out? Who? (Huhuhu..)

“Good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

Whoever uttered that rhyme must have been all too familiar with bedbug attack and infestation. These tiny, itchy, bitchy (most feeders/biters are female) parasitic anthropods of Family Cimicidae can turn a perfectly normal person into a manic zombie overnight.

We can’t murder the person who has brought these sleep-wrecking creatures, but we can probably kill the myths about bedbugs. Weed out the lies about bedbugs to enlighten the search for solutions – if there’s any.

Myth # 1: Bedbugs don’t sleep.

They do sleep during daytime. These creatures are nocturnal – alive, awake and alert at night while dead asleep in the morning till sunset. Should I get a graveyard shift call center job to avoid them? Or should I hire a guard to watch any crawling red brown pest while I’m fast asleep?

Myth #2: Bedbugs rest only in dirty places.

If my room has bedbugs, does it mean I’m messy? Wrong. When I lived in Payatas, a slum area, there was not a time I’d complained about being nibbled by bedbugs.  Could it be geographical? I prefer not to answer where bedbugs come from until I get to live a bug’s life. I just know that they stick where they cannot be seen.

Myth #3: Bedbugs can be exterminated by insecticides.

Even corporations attempting to bedbug-proof buildings and apartments never fully succeed. These parasites tend to be insecticide-resilient. Bedbugs could live even without feeding on blood for a year. They easily fool pest controllers that they are completely gone after fumigation but they could be just taking a vacation. If pest controllers’ methods didn’t work, how much hope can you put on plain insecticide spray and bedbugs powder?

Myth #4: Bedbugs don’t attack when the room is freezing cold.

False. Bedbugs can survive in freezing temperature up to 45 degree celsius. I just told Ate Sha this morning that we should drive to the desert and put our beddings under the scorching sunlight. Or perhaps turn on a heater (if there’s one) to 46 degrees. Humans attract bedbugs with their CO2 exhalation, heat and certain chemicals -the room’s temperature cannot separate these devoted parasites from their favorite host.

Myth #5: Bedbugs transmit diseases.

In all fairness to bedbugs, they’re obliged to feed on blood. Feeding on blood (hematophagy) is just their way to survive. Begbug bite scratchers can take comfort that these bitchy insects don’t transmit any disease. For others, the bites could lead to serious skin infection. For me, its worst effects are emotional distress and sleeplessness.

Loads of cash and a Nobel prize await the first Nazi who can successfully exterminate these cryptic, vexing, nonpaying tenants from the face of the earth.

5 Comment

  1. Ok Issa. There are bed bugs on my yacht and I’ve found a few solutions, (granted, they haven’t got me yet). You’re absolutely right about how resilient they are to fumes etc. We do a spray down and it might help, but it doesn’t get rid of them. If you sleep with the lights on they don’t come out to play. Or feed. You can put that year long fast to the test by sleeping with the lights on. And sharks with lasers mounted to their heads kill em dead, so you know. Work that one out. Ok, maybe I only have one solution that is even remotely viable but it does work. Lights scare bed bugs away.

  2. Hi, Corey. Hmm.. I’ll try that solution tonight.

    You might turn out be the first bedbugs Nazi. 😉

  3. […] Bedbugs kicked me out of bed at fifteen minutes past one. Their asses must be on fire. Dubai’s tormenting heat won’t cease chasing them out of their hiding places. […]

  4. Heard of those bedbugs with my dear one and she really keeps on complaining with it…one solution she sees on it was having simply a bed sheet…yes, very simple, this is what she told me about it…:) anyway, thought of exchanging links with you. If you may, you could visit our website at http://www.redpieces.com and http://www.businessonstage.com
    thanks!

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