As I hold my newborn baby in my arms, I am overcome with a mix of emotions. On one hand, I am filled with immense love and joy for this tiny human being who has just entered my world. On the other hand, I am faced with the daunting reality of having to decide: do I go back to work and return to the life I know, or do I stay at home and adjust to this entirely new life as a full-time mother?

The thought of going back to work feels like a daunting task. I am no longer just responsible for myself, but for this tiny person who depends on me for everything. The thought of leaving him in someone else’s care is overwhelming and fills me with guilt.

But at the same time, the thought of staying at home feels equally daunting. I am used to a busy, structured life where I am constantly on the go. The idea of being cooped up in the house all day, every day, with no adult conversation or stimulation is overwhelming.

I am in a state of shock as I try to adjust to this new role as a mother. I am overwhelmed with the constant feedings, diaper changes, and lack of sleep.

I am constantly second-guessing myself and worrying if I am doing everything right. I am trying to navigate this new world of motherhood, but it feels like I am constantly stumbling in the dark.

As the days and weeks pass, I slowly start to find my footing. I learn to trust my instincts and listen to my baby’s cues. I find support from other moms and lean on my partner for help. And eventually, I start to feel more comfortable in this new role as a mother. But the shock of becoming a full-time mother never truly goes away. It is a constant reminder of the immense responsibility and love that comes with raising a child.